My Blog

yesterday was a tragedy. it never entered my mind na posible palang magkaganun ang lahat. just when i thought na ok na then yesterday came. wala na cya…siguro it was not meant to be.

3 months ago, i got a text msg from my brother. sabi nya he needs to talk to me. since im overseas wala cyang masabihang iba kundi ako lang..so i called him up kahit na mejo late na. i think it was already 12midnight nun. sabi nya he got somebody pregnant daw. nung una i was a bit shock kc i never imagine. oo cge he is old enough to have a baby. he is already 23 pero cguro kc im the big sister kaya mejo i treat them as the kid brother i used have before na puro laro, basketball at anime ang nasa utak. sabi nga ng mama ko spoiled daw sakin ang mga un (silang dalawa ni alfie). so i asked him his plans since i dont want to tell him what to do. gusto ko kc ung galing sa kanya. i dont want to force him to marry the girl if di nman nya gusto (mahal). then sabi nya he is going to marry the girl daw ( sorry but until now di ko pa alam ung name ng girl e). so the shock became excitement. i got excited, sabi ko pa nga wag silang magpapakasal muna hanggat wala pa ko kc aabay ako (chance ko na ulet makapagsuot ng gown) i even told them na dapat ung gown ko ay venus cut. as the days goes on mejo nagpifade na ung excitement ko sa wedding kc i was getting more excited with the baby. i even scouted for baby dresses para ipapadala ko. i even dreamt of a healthy baby smiling at me. parang i was so happy and excited with the thought of having a baby in the house again. we have a baby nman na at the house (si escil) pero she is 5 years old na.

then, just yesterday morning  they gave me the bad news. nasa hospital daw si jr at ung asawa nya. there’s a tendency daw na mawala ung baby. then after a few hours they confirmed to me that the baby is gone.

i was in tears when i heard my brother crying. i dont know why i felt that way pero parang ako ung nawalan ng anak. ansakit sakit…niloloko nga ako nung friend ko. sabi nya magbaby na daw kasi ako para di ako nakikibaby ng baby ng iba.

after nung conversation namen ng brother ko i called my sister and then my mom. sabi nila cguro it was not meant to be. sabi nila there’s always a reason behind. cguro nga tama sila….

Would have given up my life for you
Guess it’s true what they say about love
It’s blind
you lied straight to my face
Looking in my eyes
And I believed you ’cause I loved you more than life
And all you had to do
Was apologize

You didn’t say you’re sorry
I don’t understand
You don’t care that you hurt me
And now I’m half the man
That I used to be when it was you and me
You didn’t love me enough
My heart may never mend
And you’ll never get to love me, again

No, no, no, no, no, no

Sadness has me at the end of the line
Helpless watched you break this heart of mine
And loneliness only wants you back here with me
Common sense knows that you’re not good enough for me
And all you had to do
Was apologize, and mean it

But you didn’t say you’re sorry
I don’t understand
You don’t care that you hurt me
And now I’m half the man
That I used to be when it was you and me
You didn’t love me enough
My heart may never mend
And you’ll never get to love me

Wish like hell I could go back in time
Maybe then I could see how
Forgiveness says that I should give you one more try
But it’s too late, it’s over now

You didn’t say you’re sorry
I don’t understand
You don’t care that you hurt me
And now I’m half the man
That I used to be when it was you and me
You didn’t love me enough
My heart may never mend
And you’ll never get to love me
Again ,yeah

Again, yeah, yeah
Again, again, again, yeah, yeah, yeah
Never get to love me

I didn’t know at first why you  gaze

looking at me made me feel flustered

I always wanted to ask

if you understood just a little of my feelings

although i never told you

now I know, how you were as lost

and wandering as I was

how you hurt so much, it kept you from sleep

hold my hand, I won’t let go of you again

I love you as long as I breathe…..

things stood still

when you, who’d always treated me so coldly

smiled at me that day

now I know how you were lost

and wandering as I was

how you hurt so much, it kept you from sleep

hold my hand

don’t let go of me

I love you till the day i close my eyes in rest

I wont cry

now that you’re by my side

thank you….

for giving me the gift of you.

There was once this guy who is very much in love with his girl…
This ROMANTIC GUY folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as a gift to his girl…
Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company, his future doesn’t seemed too bright, they were very happy together…
Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she couldn’t visualize any future for the both of them, so they went their own ways there and then…
Heartbroken, the guy agreed. But when he regains his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of
him….
Finally with all these hard work and the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company!
You never fail until you stop trying.
One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella the rain walking to some destination.
Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn’t take him long to realize those were his girl’s parents…
With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan…
He wanted them to know that he wasn’t the same anymore; he had his own company, car, condo, etc.
He made it!
Before the guy can realize, the couple was walking towards a cemetery, and he got out of his car and followed…and he saw his girl, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone and he saw his paper cranes beside her…
Her parents saw him. He asks them why had this happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all…
She was ill with cancer…
She had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want to be his obstacle!!…
therefore she had chosen to leave him.
Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. She had wanted her parents to put his paper cranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him
to her again…
he can take some of those back with him..
Once you have loved, you will always love…
For what’s in your mind may escape
but what’s in your heart will remain forever…
The guy just wept…
The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you
can’t have them…..
hope you would understand…
Find time to realize that there is one person who means so much to you, for you might wake up one morning losing that person whom you thought meant nothing to you…

wanna know my latest addiction???? well, meet kyle…isn’t he cute…????look at those charming eyes, (i really have this thing with eyes and smile plus man drawn to basketball of course). how i wish i could see him in person. but i think that’s quite impossible at the moment. its like we’re two worlds apart. given the chance, i would think of trading the chance of seeing him personally with meeting justin timberlake.  yeah, i know i hate him before. that was during n’sync days when they did that acapella when they visited the Philippines. i find him some kind of a joke then. a copy cat of the backstreet boys. but now????look how sexy he is and those eyes plus those thin red lips….

I was going over my e-mail and chanced upon this beautiful letter. I want to share this to all those who have loved and hurt, those who haven’t loved at all and those who are just about to discover the beauty of this moving emotion.

When you think of your past love, you may view it as a failure. But when you find a new love, you view the past as a teacher. In the game of love, it doesn’t really matter who won or who lost. What is important is you know when to hold on and when to let go!
You know you really love someone when you want him or her to be happy, even if his or her happiness means that you’re not part of it.

Everything happens for the best. If the person you love doesn’t love you back, don’t be afraid to love someone else again, for you’ll never know unless you give it a try. You’ll never love a person you love unless you risk for love.

Love strives in hurting. If you don’t get hurt, you don’t learn how to love.

Love doesn’t hurt all the time, though the hurting is still there to test you and to help you grow. Don’t find love, let love find you. That’s why it’s called falling in love because you don’t force yourself to fall. You just fall. You cannot finish a book without closing its chapters. If you want to go on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages.
Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. It is a lifetime venture in which we are always learning, discovering and growing.

The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on and holding on when you need to let go. We lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else who can love us even more than we can love ourselves.

On falling out of love, take some time to heal and then get back on the horse. But don’t ever make the same mistake of riding the same one that threw you the first time.
To love is to risk rejections; to live is to risk dying, to hope is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is risking nothing!

To reach for another is to risk involvement, to expose your feelings is to expose true self; to love is to risk not to be loved in return.

How to define love: fall but do not stumble, be constant but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, hurt but never keep the pain.
Love is like a knife. It can stab the heart or it can carve wonderful images into the soul that always last for a lifetime.

Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling. It should inspire you and give you joy and strength. But sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end.

Loving people means giving them the freedom that they choose to be and where they choose to be. For all the heartaches and the tears, for gloomy days and fruitless years, you should give thanks, for you know, that these were the things which helped you grow.

Loving someone means giving him the freedom to find his way, whether it leads towards you or away from you. Love is a painful risk to take but the risk must be taken no matter how scary or painful, for only then you’ll experience the fullness of humanity and that is love.

Only love can hurt your heart, fill you with desire and tear you apart. Only love can make you cry and only love knows why. If you’re not ready to cry, if you’re not ready to take the risk, if you’re not ready to feel the pain, then you’re not ready to fall in love.

There was a time in our lives when we became afraid to fall in love because every time we do, we get hurt, then I figured that’s why it’s called falling in love. When you decide to love, allow it to grow. When you promise to love, refuse to let it die!

*From Joe D’ Mango’s Love Notes

*****hey ryan, thanks…it really got me

__._,_.___

we all go through life like bowls in a china shop. a chip here, a crack ther, doing damage to ourselves, to other people. the problem is trying to figure out how to control the damage we have done or has been done to us. sometimes, the damage catches us by surprise. sometimes, we think we can fix the damage and sometimes, the damage is something we can’t even see.

• Pain…. u jaz have to write it out. Hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that cause it heals. Pain…there are no solutions, theres no easy answers. U jaz breath deep and wait for it to subside.
• Pain…..u jaz have to fight through it coz the truth is u can’t out run it….And life always makes more.